The manosphere is in the process of forging a new male identity
The manosphere has been compared to the male equivalent of feminism. On one level this true. When one mentions feminism, usually it is associated with equal rights for women. But on a deeper level, it attempts to answer the question, what does it mean to be a woman? Due to changing technology, the roles of men and women have changed in society, this means both men and women need a new identity. Women have started to answer this question with feminism until the advent of the manosphere, men have failed to answer this question. The manosphere is defined as groups like MGTOW and the red pill, both groups are a response to changing roles of women. But on a deeper level, the manosphere is about what does it mean to be a man. Despite what feminists claim, this is actually a good thing. First, let’s look at why men and women now need identities, why didn’t we need identities 300 years ago?
Originally gender identity was defined by the environment
Gender roles in early society where determined by environment. Whether the society is a hunter-gatherer society or an agricultural one, the primary role of men was to provide food and protect. The primary role of women was to prepare this food, produce children and look after children. Before modern technology, this involved a lot of work for both men and women. Women needed to be able to fetch water, firewood, prepare the foodelsewhereetc. For the preparation of food, this involves more than cooking. To make bread, the woman would need to separate the wheat from the chaff, then she would need to grind the wheat into flour, then eventually she could make bread. She also produced clothes, this entailed taking a fiber, like wool, spinning it into a thread, this thread would be woven into cloth which would be made into clothes.
Physical strength and the fact women produce and nurse babies and determined these gender roles. In an early society, without machines, men are better at hunting or agricultural because they are stronger. Men were producers. Women could do jobs where physical strength wasn’t as important, their role was refining what men produced. Feminists will to argue otherwise, they will cite examples like the women hunters of the Philippines. The Philippines differs from other areas in that there are no predators which attack humans. The Filipino female hunters are an exception as opposed to the rule. If women carrying around babies while hunting is an optimal solution, all societies would have adopted it.
In the cases where women did produce as much food as men, men were still required for protectors. I cited this book before, Better Angels of Our Nature: The Decline of Violence in History and Its Causes, it shows early societies were extremely violent. In early societies, 25% of males would die due to violence. When women did produce as much food as men, men were required to protect this territory. All primates, except Bonobo monkeys, have high rates of male violence. The Bonobo monkey again is an exception to the rule because of their environment. They exist in an environment where due to geography they are protected and have no natural predators.
Early men and women’s roles were determined by the environment, they were too busy surviving, to ponder what it means to be a man or a woman. This then brings into question, what was the relationship between men and women in early societies.
Initially the relationship between and women was one of mutual survival
To illustrate a point, I have simplified things. In traditional societies, men and women were dependent on each other. Men produced things and provided protection, Women then refined the things men produced to make food and clothes, coupled with this women produced children. As I showed in my post, Electricity, Steam, and cotton are responsible for female rights, not feminists these gender roles started to break down with the advent of the Industrial Revolution. The Industrial Revolution allowed a division of labor, this meant that men and women were no longer as economically dependent on each other.
Women, since they were no longer as economically dependent on men, could demand equal rights. This was the birth of woman’s suffrage which later would be known as feminism. When people think of feminism, they think it involves only woman’s rights. What , is feminism also involved women thinking about what is their identity besides being a baby producing machine who looks after the house. They asked questions like, what does it mean to be a woman, how women feel emotionally and react to things differently than men?
Women’s identity has evolved while men are still stuck in the role of provider and protector
The conservative expects women to receive special protection via social custom. The liberal expects women to receive special protection via government programs. The conservative assumes most women want the traditional female roles, and the traditional female role requires men to protect women. The liberal assumes men’s old roles were power and privilege designed to serve men rather than to be men’s way of protecting women, so the liberal feels women need protection to compensate for the male power structure. Both conservative and liberal therefore conclude that men should protect women and no one should protect men. Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?: A Debate
fantasies up the role of men regardless whether the man has a liberal or conservative viewpoint. The only difference between liberal and conservative is whether the man pays directly. If the man is liberal, he pays indirectly through increased taxes, increased chances he will get falsely accused of rape etc. In both cases whether the man is expected to be a protector and a provider. The man’s identity is linked directly to how well he can provide and protect.
Woman’s awakening was caused by the economic changes caused by the Industrial Revolution. By contrast, men’s awakening is being caused since it is no longer possible to hide the reality of sexual relationships between men and women. The reality is, men, desire physical sex more than women, on the other hand, the woman still wants a man who is able to be a protector and a provider. The conservative wants to turn back things to before the Industrial Revolution unless society totally breaks down, this isn’t possible. Instinctively people know this, probably this is why apocalypse fiction is popular, it caters to this fantasy of returning to traditional gender models.
How a male identity is developing
As a result of the inattention to male powerlessness and female power, men are as ignorant about their own powerlessness and female power as women in the 1950s were about their own powerlessness and male power. And as a result, men today are psychologically about where women were in the 1950s. The last half century has not been a battle of the sexes, but a war in which only one side has shown up. Men have put their heads in the sand and hoped the bullets would miss. The less sense this makes now, the more you need genuine men’s studies. Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?: A Debate
I was talking to a single mother, she has two sons, she is raising them to be perfect gentlemen. Men that will know how to treat women properly. Meanwhile, if a woman has a daughter she will raise them to be strong, independent women. The message this mother is sending is the purpose of her sons is to help women become strong and independent. That her sons need women for their own self-fulfillment. MGTOW and the red pill are addressing this issue in that they are saying men do not need women for their own happiness.
Feminists are saying that they do not need men. Yet when men say they do not need women, they are sexist, they hate women. This in itself is a good starting point, it will force women to become independent. Women are saying they want a man who is emotionally supportive, yet the reverse does not hold true. Women are more aware of what their own psychological needs are. They then are demanding that men meet these psychological and emotional needs, yet they can not provide the same for men.
Why women can not emotionally support men?
And women develop support systems. Women’s traditional support systems support women to be vulnerable; men’s traditional support systems support men to be vulnerable.
This creates a paradox: The support men get to be invulnerable makes them more vulnerable; the support women get to be vulnerable makes them less vulnerable. It is just one example of how women’s strength is their facade of weakness and men’s weakness is their facade of strength. Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?: A Debate
The accusation of feminists is most history is men’s history. No, most history is men that succeeded, men who fail are forgotten. If the men who have failed are remembered, it usually is this is what this man did wrong, don’t be stupid like him. Ultimately the skills which men used to succeed where ones which evolved from protecting women. Most of the male heroes were war heroes, this was ultimately in the defense of society and women benefited from it.
This is another aspect of why men suffer more from The Soul Mate Myth than women. Inherently, want a partner to share their emotional burden. But if they share their weakness or problems with a woman, the woman loses attraction. By contrast, a man doesn’t find a woman who is a victim to be unattractive, on the contrary, it caters to many men’s fantasies of being the hero and rescuing the woman. Coupled with this is men want to find solutions while women want to talk about emotions.
If I could impart one lesson to women that I learned in writing this book, it would be that understanding the biology of the male brain helps us relate better to the male reality. Much of the conflict that exists between men and women is fueled by unrealistic expectations that stem from failing to grasp each other’s innate differences. To men, I would say I hope that shedding light on the male brain’s tendencies and its physiological responses to hormones will clarify the basis for your natural urges and the way you think, feel, and communicate. My belief is that this information can provide men with a sense of relief at finally being understood. The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think
Modern society has created unrealistic expectations for both men and women with their relationships with the opposite sex. In The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think it describes a woman who is upset with her husband for being overly competitive. But due to evolution, it was these qualities which attracted her to him in the first place. Two hundred years ago, it wouldn’t have been a problem since both of them would have been too tired at the end of the day to fight. Or possibly, the man might have spent his time in the local tavern.
These unrealistic expectations cause a lot of unhappiness, the woman expects a partner who is emotionally available for her. On the other hand, she can not be emotionally available for him. This creates animosity within the relationship.
When men speak out they are silenced
Women and Feminists say men should express themselves more. What they mean is, men should say things which follow the woman’s versions of reality. If men speak out what they really feel, they are silenced.
Other than talk radio, are there outlets for men’s feelings? The Internet originally held out hope. And men began speaking up, especially the nontechie men on America Online, who created forums such as the “Men’s Equal Rights” folder. Quite quickly the men’s forums on AOL were shut down. Censored. Is it fair to suggest that if this censorship happened to any other group on AOL it would have made the front pages? Yes. When the NewYork Times discovered AOL had suspended the heated debate between two opposing discussion groups on Ireland, the suspension made a three-column headline on the front page of the Sunday New York Times. And AOL’s censorship of men? Ignored by all the major media. Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?: A Debate
The book is outdated, AOL no longer has a virtual monopoly on the Internet for the average user. But it illustrates a point. Feminists are allowed to criticize men but the reverse does not hold true. Any criticism, even if it is legitimate, is deflected by feminists as hatred. Yes, many men are angry because they are tired of not having their concerns heard. What feminists want is men to agree with them.
It isn’t until the last ten years that men have been able to use the Internet to speak out. The opposition they are facing is ironically similar to what early feminists faced. From the outside, feminism appears to have a solid front, internally feminism is divided. A similar situation exists with the manosphere movements. It is also similar in that most of the manosphere realizes that the traditional role for men is no longer valid. What this new role will be, the manosphere is still trying to figure out. We are at least fifty years behind feminists but thanks to the Internet we can catch up fast.
Forging a new male identity
The red pill and MGTOW both originated from the fact that due male and female relationships are no longer balanced. This is from both a legal and social perspective. The violence against women laws, for example, are biased towards women. The legal system assumes the man is the primary instigator of violence. Socially, the man is expected to ask the woman out, pay for most things on dates etc. The man still is stuck in the protector role. Despite affirmative action, combat roles in the military, police, and security are male domains. Military drafts in the military are limited to men, calls to expand this legislation to women have been blocked. The common themes for both groups are:
- Men are no longer need women in their traditional role. Thanks to supermarkets, cookbooks and household appliances, men can buy and cook their own food, they are also able to wash their own clothes etc. Ironically, this was the biggest complaint of feminists that men can not do these things. Now that most men can do these things, they find out they don’t need women.
- Men are no longer emotionally dependent on women. Growing up, a male would spend most of his time with his mother. To a large degree, getting married meant emotionally replacing his mother with a wife. As I showed in The dangerous soulmate myth, men are finding out they can get better emotional support else where. Society implies that a man’s life is meaningless without a woman, many men are finding out otherwise.
- men should refuse to be the provider and protector of women. Linked to the soulmate myth is the myth that men should behave like a gentleman and they will be rewarded. I was speaking with a single mother who had several sons. She stated that she is raising her sons to become gentlemen and respect women. The feminist definition of respect is that an opinion of a woman should be accepted, even if it is without merit. Men are now refusing to fit into these roles, this doesn’t mean they abuse women but the woman has to be able to back up her opinions.
- they are no longer ashamed to be men. Mainstream TV and movies often portray men and fathers as bumbling idiots. That the man should be ashamed just for being male, men in these groups are refusing to accept this stereotype.
The biggest question that these groups are attempting to answer is what does it mean to be a man?. There are some men who naively believe that they can roll back the clock and return to traditional gender roles, this isn’t possible. There are other men who are saying a new male identity has to be forged.
The manosphere is forcing feminists to react
People who want rights without responsibilities are like adolescents who want the rights to the car without the responsibilities for the payments, the gas, the insurance, or the repairs. A person who talks more about women’s rights than responsibilities is not an adult feminist, but an adolescent feminist. Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?: A Debate
We have a paradox, the majority of women want to get married:
Of the respondents, 85.1 percent said that they’d like to be married by age 30. Specifically, 46.5 percent said they’d like to get married between age 25 and 27; 20.9 percent said they’d like to tie the knot between 28-30; and 17.1 percent want to walk down the aisle by their 25th birthdays. Survey: Most College Women Want to Be Married by 30
While the majority of men no longer want to get married:
Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, while the desire for marriage is rising among young women, according to the Pew Research Center.
Pew recently found that the number of women 18-34 saying that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things rose from 28 percent to 37 percent since 1997. The number of young adult men saying the same thing dropped from 35 percent to 29 percent in the same time. https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/young-men-giving-up-on-marriage-women-arent-women-anymore
I randomly pulled these statistics from two websites to show that women still want to get married while men no longer want to get married. Instead of addressing the issue, feminists resort to men should man up or other shaming tactics. Or the resort to men who are critical of laws which give women an unfair advantage hate women. They then manosphere groups as spreading hate against women instead of addressing the issues, that marriage or relationships no longer are worthwhile for men.
There have been some accusations that the manosphere is similar to feminism. When it comes to developing a male identity and redefining male roles it shares a lot in common with early feminism. This in the long term will have a beneficial effect for feminism, they will be forced to accept more responsibilities to go with their increased rights. Indirectly this beneficial for feminism.
Further directions
The book Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?: A Debate isn’t worth reading. Much of the information within the book is outdated, there is more accurate information available on MGTOW and Red Pill and men’s rights websites. The reason why I cited the book is because he poses the question What does it mean to be a man?. Linked to this he asks the question How are male and female relationships supposed to function?. Both his critics and supporters didn’t identify those two key points.
As he showed, in the past, mainstream media due to feminist pressure could suppress these issues. The author never envisioned the Internet where it is harder to suppress information. The red pill and MGTOW compared to feminism, are extremely young groups. On the other hand, when it comes to forging a male identity, they have achieved a lot more than feminism did in the same period of time. Personally, I never addressed the issue of what does it mean to be a man?, in the past, I had always taken the role of protector and provider. I am now asking myself, what does it mean to be a man in a modern world?
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