Stigmatizing male anger for social control
As a man, you state an opinion, the person you are talking to will counter with you are wrong, you then show him the facts. When the person can no longer argue on the basis of fact their end argument is you are angry or bitter, then they will add there is nothing you can do about it, you are making yourself angry for no reason. The natural reaction is to defend why you are angry or deny you are angry. In this post, I will show that this is a method of social control which uses the positive aspects of the male psyche against them. This method of attack is effective against men since they process anger differently than women and essentially it cripples them. Possible the person might state they are worried about your health, if you are angry all the time, it will affect your health negatively.
The anger is harmful myth originates from the seven deadly sins myth which I talked about in Invention of Good and Evil - Intent becomes more important than results. The character traits of the seven deadly sins when used appropriately are needed for success, regardless of how you measure success. The myth is attractive since it enables us to attack successful people with a minimal amount of mental energy. You could always say, even though he is successful in this life in the next life he will be burning in hell. At the same time, it limits your own abilities since when you feel these emotions, you will try and limit them instead of directing them.
The myth of the Type A and Type B personalities fit well with the seven deadly sins myth. If a new belief reinforces an older belief it will be adopted without question. The Type A and Type B personalities originated from a 1950s study, people with Type A personalities allegedly had a greater probability of suffering a heart attack, Type B personalities lead happy and contented lives. Traits of a Type A personality are:
- rude, ambitious and highly status-conscious
- rigidly organized
- impatient and proactive
- concerned with time management
Versus the Type B personality traits are:
- work steadily
- may enjoy achievement but are not concerned with winning and losing
- avoid physical and mental stress
- when faced with competition, focus less on winning and losing.
During the 1980s this type of categorization was common in NewsPapers and TV, Type A personality where bad versus Type B personality people were good. Eventually, all they had to do was say, he is a Type A personality, this implied he was bad, it was implied he was going to die of a heart attack. Later is was proven the Type A and Type B personality theory is flawed, the original study ignore environmental factors. When environmental factors were taken into account both groups had the same risk. In an attempt to redeem the idea, further studies tried to link Type A personalities with a greater probability of developing cancer, again no link was proven.
Even after a concept or theory has been proven false, the belief still lives on. Variants of this myth are you are making yourself unhappy, you are going to get stressed, your health will suffer etc. Indirectly the Type A and Type B personality theory is an indirect attack on male anger since most Type A personality types are men. Why do men have a greater tendency to anger than women?
Traditional societies can be broken into male and female social groups. Male social groups are hierarchy based and they are responsible for the protection of female social groups. For a man, status and territory are more important than for a woman. In primitive societies, for a man to lose these things could death. Primitive societies have extremely high rates of male mortality, up to 40%. The high mortality rate is attributed to men fighting for territory and resources within and outside the tribe. If one tribe conquered another tribe, usually the men are killed, the women are assimulated into the other tribe. Even in modern conflicts where ethnic cleansing occurs, this still holds true. In the former Yugoslavia, men and boys were first castrated, then killed. By contrast women were raped but not intentionally killed. For those who claim it is a social construct, Chimpanzees have similar rates of male mortality due to violence. What is interesting, Chimpanzees patrol their territory in a similar manner to primitive human societies. They also have a male mortality rate of a 40%. Therefore the male brain has evolved so that when he perceives his territory or status is under threat he becomes angry.
For males, displaying signs of dominance and aggression is an important way to establish and maintain a social hierarchy. Even if Jake really didn’t feel all that confident, he wanted to look as though he was in charge and not afraid to fight. But as most men know, a show of anger is just as often only a bluff. The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think
Displaying confidence and hiding fear are important for a man. Anger is a display of confidence, it shows he is not afraid of the person challenging him. You will see similar behavior with other pack animals. A dog sees another dog encroaching on its territory, it will growl at the other dog.
A man’s brain area for suppressing anger, the septum, is smaller than it is in the female brain, so expressing anger is a more common response for men than it is for women. The anger-aggression circuits in the male brain are formed before he’s born and get behaviorally reinforced during boyhood and hormonally reinforced during the teen years. And by adulthood, using these hormonally influenced circuits for social risk-taking and aggression has become a familiar part of his life. The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think
The human brain for a fetus in the womb starts out the same for both males and females. When the testes of the male develop they start to produce testosterone and other hormones. These hormones are what cause physical differences between male and female brains. As the male progresses from infancy to adulthood, their brain will be exposed to more testosterone than females, this will cause structural changes to the male’s brain. Due to social evolution, the septum is smaller in men, men who react to their territory and status being challenged will have an advantage. If male brains have evolved this way, are the allegations that anger affects male thinking negatively true?
It is important to differentiate between anger and rage. Rage is the result of someone being angry but unable to change their circumstances. The anger builds until the person is unable to make rational decisions. Anger, on the other hand, is an emotion that is directed at another person or circumstance, it isn’t harmful if the person is able to change their circumstances.
Scientists have found that when anger reaches the boiling point in some men, under conditions of high testosterone, it can produce pleasure, egging them on and making their anger harder to control. Joe couldn’t admit it to me, because he almost didn’t know it himself, but part of his brain was enjoying being angry and seeing her angry. He was getting a high from his anger. The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think
In this case, Joe is a high testosterone man. High testosterone men are more dominant and have a greater tendency to dominate others in the social hierarchy. In this case, Joe and Maria are arguing, they have entered a feedback loop. Joe responds to Maria’s anger by getting more angry which in turn causes Maria to become angrier. The difference between Maria and Joe is the anger affects Maria negatively while it is affecting Joe in a positive manner. Anger affects men and women differently.
For women, anger means their social connects are at risk. For women, social connections are more important than hierarchy or status. Hence women want to avoid being angry and exposure to anger from other. By contrast, for Joe, his increased anger means he will be more successful at defending his status or territory. The definition of winning and losing is different for men and women. For Joe, winning means protecting his status and territory, for Maria winning means maintaining social status. That Maria is in an angry conflict means she has inherently lost even when she has won. This is why women remember episodes with anger longer than men. Here Joe’s anger is a negative thing because it is causing problems with his wife. In normal circumstances it actually is beneficial.
This high was what Joe had been using for decades to win competitions. He knew from playing high-school football that getting angry got him fired up. And he now used that energy to help him win the sales contests at work. When men like Joe are in a competitive mood or looking for a fight, seeing their opponent get angry creates a strange sort of excitement. The intelligent part of the brain, our cortex, has learned to harness deep, primitive emotions—like anger—to our advantage.
According to studies, people prefer to feel emotions that are potentially useful, even if those feelings are unpleasant. Researchers showed that even though anger can cause flawed thinking by reducing the perceptions of risk and triggering aggression, anger can sometimes make us think more clearly. They concluded that anger prompts more careful and rational analysis of another person’s reasoning, so in some instances, anger can make people more rational, not less. The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think
Contrary to popular belief, except for risk judgment, for men anger does not cloud judgment or sense, on the contrary, it makes them sharper. From a social evolutionary perspective, this is logical, anger is a way to gear the man up for conflict. Before entering the conflict, the man will need to assess his enemy, this requires sharper thinking. What is also interesting is that it appears as if anger enables the man to analyze his opponent’s reasoning better. This is the exact opposite of what conventional wisdom teaches.
This also can explain why men perform better in many businesses than women. Steve Jobs had a definite vision of how his products and he refused to compromise this vision. The idea of an iPod and an iPhone were not unique to Apple. What was unique is that these products were built with Job’s vision which he refused to compromise. Previous products made by other companies were made by a committee. They had multiple functions but didn’t excel in one particular function.
Steve Jobs and Bill Gates share one common attribute, they would get extremely angry. Both of them had a vision for their companies, both were extremely competitive. Both would do whatever it took to make their products succeed. We now can see how anger can benefit men in certain areas. Are there other benefits.
Here lies the paradox of woman’s nature. They desire a man who is domineering since these types of men will make good providers and protectors at the same time these types of men will be more prone to anger.
As it turned out, when Maria and Joe first started dating, she was flattered by his jealous, intense way of letting her know she was the one. She said she liked the way he aggressively stared down other guys he caught checking her out. In those days, Joe’s tough-guy attitude made him more attractive to her.
Research shows that angry men get noticed more—not only by other men but also by women. Ironically, it was the same high-testosterone personality traits that had initially attracted Maria to Joe that were now driving them apart. The Male Brain: A Breakthrough Understanding of How Men and Boys Think
Men who are angry get noticed by both men and women. On the other hand for women, the traits which initially the woman found attractive can end up causing problems within the relationship.
Attacking male anger is a Trojan horse, it pretends to be helpful while it deflects from the argument. First, it limits the man’s ability to argue. As we have shown, anger can enhances the man’s thinking abilities. Secondly, it serves a more subtle method of attacking the man. By using the Seven deadly sins myth or Type A vs Type B personality myth you make the man feel guilty. He then sends himself into a negative feedback loop. He feels angry about a circumstance, instead of directing the anger to fix the circumstance he tries to fight his anger. This means his circumstance will not change, this will cause more anger which the man will attempt to suppress.
My personal theory is that suppressed rage can cause a person to run amok. Amok originally was classified as a culture-bound mental disorder. The term Amok originated in the Malay people which Filipinos are part of. Usually, the person is outwardly calm, appears rational, behaving normally, suddenly the person start yelling and screaming, behaving irrationally. In one case a security guard in the Philippines was repeatedly being teased by his coworkers. The teasing was relentless and wouldn’t stop. One day the security guard went to work, shot all of his co-workers and then killed himself. There are other incidents where a person will get a machete, attack and kill bystanders in a crowded place. They symptoms are similar.
This academic paper attempts to dispute the cultural connect Running Amok: A Modern Perspective on a Culture-Bound Syndrome, in my opinion, the paper is catering to political correctness. I was talking to a Filipino who would occasionally run Amok. In a Filipino culture, one is supposed to conform, they are not supposed to openly express anger. He described the sensation as a kettle on a stove with a lid that is on too tight. He then said he could feel the pressure building, how he is forced to conform, how he feels powerless. Eventually, he would reach a breaking point and explode. The academic paper states that Amok is associated with other mental disorders, in some cases possibly, in this person’s case no. In most cases Filipinos who run Amok seem rational.
The modern politically correct society has created one that is similar to a Filipino one. Men are unable to express their anger in constructive ways, they are forced to suppress it. Worse yet they are made to feel guilty about it, which causes feelings of helplessness. The feeling of helplessness is a major cause of depression. The majority of men who were involved in killing sprees were usually on medication for depression. That a few men go berserk once in a while is worth it to maintain social control.
The methodology used by the Catholic Church and Modern Liberals to maintain control is similar. With the Catholic Church, if one expressed anger, that meant they would not be allowed to go to heaven. With Modern Liberals, expressing anger is damaging to your health, toxic masculinity is what prevents society from advancing. In both cases, there is an implied promise which can not be proven.
Our emotions are reflections from our reptile brain or what is called the subconscious. The emotion itself isn’t harmful, it depends on how you choose to act on them.
Lou: “So my boss, he was talking to me about how many sick days I’ve taken. And I was like, you know, don’t go there, you know. But, he kept on about wanting to see some kind of a doctor’s note or something. And I said, look I’m seriously serious. You don’t want to go there! But, he kept talking and talking and being such a nag. And then I just blacked out. I blacked out. And when I woke up, I was standing over him. And I was screaming, I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!”
Buddy: “Well, how do you think you handled that situation?”
Lou: “Uh, not as well as I could’ve” Anger Management - movie
The problem isn’t that Lou got angry it is how he handled the anger. Also, Lou possibly might have boundary issues, maybe Lou did take off too many sick days. If Lou’s boss is being unreasonable, Lou has other options besides beating up his boss. Feelings or emotions are not reality, they are your perception of reality. Lou should acknowledge to himself that he is angry, he then should decide how he wants to react to these emotions. It is a scene from a movie, maybe Lou’s boss might be unreasonable. Lou doesn’t specify how many sick days he took off. In this case, anger might be used to propel Lou into finding a new job etc.
When directed properly, anger can be used to get things done. In the past, I was wronged, people said there was nothing I could do about it. Just accept the situation, they then told me, I am angry. Yes, I was angry. The anger made me determined which I then used to look for possible solutions. Without this anger, I would have given up. In my experience, many times women can be a liability. Instead of trying to find solutions to overcome the obstacle, women try to appeasement. If you pursue the solution, the woman instead of being supportive will be recommending appeasement. Personally when I find a possible solution when I am angry, if possible I postpone acting upon the solution. Anger sometimes causes you to misjudge risk. If you wait, after your anger has dissipated, you can judge if you have a viable solution.
The most important thing to realize that you have a choice. You can either stay and fight or you can choose to walk away. The fight is meant figuratively to mean taking action. The doing nothing, when you choose to do nothing, is a viable choice. Anger Management - movie is a comedy but beneath the surface it raises important points. In the movie, Dave is sentenced to mandatory anger management sessions. Dave (Adam Sandler) is some that everyone abuses and takes advantage of. His boss steals his ideas. His GF is cucking him by seeing a former BF. Even when Dr. Buddy starts dating his GF, Dave doesn’t get angry. Yes, it is a movie but Dave would make an ideal employee. Ironically Dave is extremely unhappy but he doesn’t realize it.
Lou on the other hand despite his violent outbursts, is quite happy. The only problem Lou has his outbursts might result in him ending up in prison. As part of his denial, a person like Dave might try and project unhappiness on Lou. A person like Lou is actually happy since he is able to protect his status and hierarchy.
The key is realizing the emotions are not reality, they are a perception of reality. As the book The Male Brain shows men as young boys instinctively learn that their position in the hierarchy is important. For men, growing up means learning how to hide their emotions, learning how to put on a war face. Some anthropologists believe that the reason men grow beards is to conceal their emotions better, this would give them an advantage when confronting adversity. It is only by dealing with adversity that the boy learns how to control and direct his emotions like anger. Coupled with anger often fear. It is important to confront and identify what this fear is.
With relation between men and women, modern wisdom says men and women should be open about their emotions. The problem is since men’s brains are more prone to anger, if a man is open to a woman about his emotions it upsets her. The anger doesn’t need to be directed at her, just anger in general upsets women. A woman asks me what I am thinking, I then tell her I am angry at a certain situation. I have a plan on how to rectify the situation but I don’t have a chance to share it with her, since she starts lecturing me on how I shouldn’t be angry. Of course, I get upset since I feel she doesn’t want to hear my solution. For men, anger can be important when it comes to finding a solution. I have now learned don’t talk to women about these things, it upsets them.
Possibly because there are more women than men in many mental health professions, there is the myth that one needs to share emotions. This is because women, when they are discussing, are validating each other’s emotions. Since women are less prone to anger than men, that means when they share their emotions, it will not be about anger. On the other hand, if a man shares how he feels about his emotions, a woman is caught in a conundrum. There is the natural desire for her to validate the emotion paradoxically she can’t validate the man’s anger emotion since she naturally finds anger repulsive. Due to political correctness, since both men and women have unrealistic expectations of each other, it causes both men and women unhappiness.
The accusation of anger is used to deflect from the real issues. On a deeper level, it can be used as a form of social control. By stigmatizing anger it prevents people from taking action. If accused of being angry, many people will attempt to justify their anger. I then tell the person, whether or not I am angry is irrelevant, let us return to the key issues. Ironically I am often accused of being angry when I am not. In this case, I ask the person, how do you know I am angry? Are you a mind reader?
After writing this post, I am extremely angry, send me bitcoin to pay my bargirl mental health expert
3NgksauCyuLcVRqLHVLbAnhP2UqmqspJVQ. If your are in the Philipines and need a bitcoin account you can sign up for one at coins.ph.
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